Divorce & Healing Coach Rachel S. Ruby Says You Can Soar After a Divorce If You Put Your Mind To It

Read the full Interview Here: https://medium.com/authority-magazine/divorce-healing-coach-rachel-s-ruby-says-you-can-soar-after-a-divorce-if-you-put-your-mind-to-it-8593ad7a5bf3

Experts such as Rachel Ruby understand it's common to feel isolated and as if your whole world just came crashing down. Rachel's philosophy is to let it collapse because the work you do to build it back better is so rewarding. According to Psychology Today, there are four stages: the acute phase, the acceptance phase, the adjustment phase, and the recovery phase. This is where Rachel jumps in because she is on a mission to help clients survive and thrive from a divorce. Before becoming a Divorce and Healing Coach, Rachel worked as a family lawyer and certified divorce mediator. But after going through her own divorce in 2021, Rachel knew the time was right to reinvent herself and since that transformation, she's never been happier.

Ilyssa Panitz: How do you help people get from "Divorce to Bliss," which is also the title of your book?

Rachel S. Ruby: The healing journey is a process, and in order to start one has to make a commitment to oneself to heal. Then it is time to jump in and do the work!

Ilyssa Panitz: Can you explain?

Rachel S. Ruby: Because each person's journey must be specifically tailored to their needs and healing ability, I do a lot of listening to make sure we create a program that allows them to be successful. Through Zoom calls, messages, and emails I become a sounding board for my clients, and one who helps hold them accountable. It is important to note that the journey usually has twists and turns, and we often need to re-evaluate and dive into other aspects, sometimes before wrapping up what the client is working on in the moment — this is why self-healing has a high failure rate. But in the end these pivots help the journey flow better and allow the person to wholly heal. Eventually at some point in the process the client starts to feel better, get excited and sticking with the program means the growth will enable them to see the bliss at the end of the journey. I love seeing that happen! Self-confidence and determination find you when you commit and truly want to make your life better.

Ilyssa Panitz: Why can holding on to negative energy stop a person from moving forward after a divorce?

Rachel S. Ruby: Negative energy gets stuck within us when we go through a trauma like divorce.

Ilyssa Panitz: How can negative energy manifest itself in different ways and have a harmful effect on the body?

Rachel S. Ruby: The problem with negative energy is that it can manifest in ways that create bigger problems within the body, mind, and spirit, and these can be harmful. Physically, negative energy may lead to aches, pain, or disease. Prior to ending my marriage, I had a horrible hip problem that was painful. I tried everything but it persisted until I went on a holiday vacation with my daughter, and it completely left my body for the entire three weeks we were away. The night before I was supposed to fly home it returned with a vengeance and that was a huge epiphany for me. Once I realized that it came from my own thoughts and perceptions, I was able to start healing. By the way, I have not had hip problems since.

Ilyssa Panitz: Negative energy is powerful.

Rachel S. Ruby: Negative energy can also affect the mind mentally and/or emotionally. It can cause sluggishness, lack of desire to leave the house, socialize, it can cause lack of interest in food, intense sadness, or anger, and it can lead to
depression or worse. Finally, holding onto negative energy can affect us spiritually. This is the way we see ourselves in relation to the world and in relation to greater forces. We lose the love and compassion for ourselves and for humanity and other life forms, and often give up connections. The consensus is that we are not meant to be happy, and our self-worth is
greatly affected. Most of the feelings and sensations we experience when in a victim state come from our own perceptions and thoughts, and that is something within our control…in fact, we are the ONLY ones who can control them. All the symptoms that come from negative energy can have a profound impact on our lives and prevent us from rising to live our best and highest existence, unless we learn how to reprogram our mindset.

Ilyssa Panitz: That takes me to my next question. A divorce can strip someone of their confidence. What steps can a person take to get back their confidence and self-worth?

Rachel S. Ruby: We need to change our mindset from negative to positive, from "can't" to CAN. Sometimes this takes baby steps and that is okay — healing is a journey, not a race. We need to settle in and realize that each small step has bigger consequences, and we need to celebrate each one. We also need to set ourselves up for success by doing things that will
allow us to thrive — like eating healthy, getting plenty of exercise and sleep, turning off the television and most types of music (I recommend a music change while healing), getting outside in nature, spending time with those who love us, starting a new hobby or class away from the home, and not dating anyone until we have healed — all of these (and more) will enable us to feel more confident and worthy. This allows us to take action to accomplish many of the other healing steps I discuss in my book, blog, and podcast.


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